How do you find out about potential customers psychology and demographic?

I get it: It is easy to find out what painpoints potential customers have and how my product can solve these. But that is just the TAM if I‘m not wrong.

People always talk about speaking to my customers beliefs, attitudes and also speak in a way that fits their age. But how do I find out about this? Amazon reviews, answer the public and so on don’t help me with that question.

I tried to analyze fb groups and subreddits but even if some people have a similarity, how should I now define all the other similaritys to finally reduce them to one or a few avatars?

Or am I just overthinking this process and it would be better to just asume a type of costumer?

I am trying to figure this out such a long time now

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